Just Carry On Breathing

I opened the box of Christmas decorations as carefully and as nervously as an archaeologist might approach a long lost haul of Anglo-Saxon t...

Every year the Samaritans publish a grim document; an annual review of suicide statistics in the UK. The latest edition  reveals that there ...

I'd been trying all summer to leave work early enough to enable me to catch some Friday evening cricket at The Oval and now I had finall...

Even as I stood staring up at Louise's body, numbed, bewildered, shocked and silently screaming in despair, I somehow found space in my ...

'Just Carry on Breathing - a year surviving suicide and widowhood', containing the collated content of the blog and much new ...

As I sat huddled in a foetal position on the floor of the ambulance the night that Louise died, I had no conception of what the future held....

For a brief moment the dull but ever present ache of loneliness abated. Standing embracing a fellow widow in a prolonged hug of mutual under...

My Sweetheart, it's now exactly a year since the fog swirling around in your mind became so dense that it obscured all hope, a year sinc...

The beat of the music from open air concerts on the trendy Waterfront district was interrupted by fireworks soaring into the air against the...

I bought a mug last weekend. An unremarkable, cheap souvenir of a short continental city break. The kind that can be found in kitchens all o...

Take a deep breath and keep on walking. Focus on the far side of the bridge. Don't glance at the spot where we had our photo taken after...

Perhaps Louise is closer to me than I dared hope. Barely a week after writing about the lack of signs, I left the house this morning to disc...

I had resisted the temptation for months until finally I cracked. Sitting under the trees around which Louise's ashes were scattered, in...

When we moved into our current home the one luxury purchase that we allowed ourselves was a large and ever so slightly stylish dining room t...

Its not often that I compare myself to a Roman God. In fact I am reasonably certain that I've never done so before, nor will I ever do s...

I remember the snow so vividly. I had been waiting impatiently for it all winter and now, as I stood in the middle of the road outside the h...

I haven't written to you Sweetheart since my reply to your farewell letter. The tear soaked one that I somehow managed to read out to yo...

Louise was normally a confident passenger, happy to sleep while I was driving long distances. But on this occasion she couldn't settle a...

I've been kidding myself in recent weeks. Proud of my strength and resilience I had begun to believe that I had mastered grief, that I w...

An image sprang in to my mind the other day. It was of one of the iconic pieces of Great War film footage so often replayed on television; g...